Last day of 2011.

Twitter was trending #mycrushof2011. Oh well, my crush of 2011 is that the one who was there when i was upset, angry, happy and bored. So he was my bestf and boyf. And he's the only one who can really make me totally moved on from my ex. But, he left me.. It's hard to deal with the pain of losing him and i'm not even a friend to him...... Well, time flies, people changed. Everything just changed without any sign. It's just another guy who comes and goes. Hais, i don't know if i should wait for him, because for me this love isn't over.. Okay, whatever it is.

It's New Year Eve today, Happy New Year's Eve(: Im gonna meet my babes later hehe <3 Okay, i'm going to watch my movie now. Buhbyes(:

The end.

Yea, the end. My parents decided to divorce. Haha.
I was on the phone with mummy for a few hours just now. And i've talked to my dad's gf yesterday. Yea maybe i'm old enough to know all these. I'm going to 15 next year. Time flies really fast........ And people changed. Life still goes on, and i'm gonna be strong. Cry doesn't solve any problem. Sometimes acting is a way to protect yourself. Smiling hard on the out and tearing up inside. Everything seems so pointless now. No one is there for me. Its just me all alone and nothing else.

Numb

I hate this holiday, it's the worst holiday ever.

So what to do when your parents decided to divorce? I don't know. It's good that they divorce isn't it? Since they have separated since i was 7. I will never forget that day. They quarreled and my brother and i just hide at the staircase and watch. And my mother left us to Singapore the next day, without telling us anything. My life shattered to pieces, sorrow, anger and a feeling of betrayal filled in my heart. Then, my father left us too. My brother was sent to nanny and I was sent to my aunt. How funny is my family uh? Four of us were at diff places. And now, my brother is staying with my father and i'm staying with my mum.

I don't know if this is a good news or a bad news. My father's girlfriend is pregnant. And yet, my parents haven't even divorce. I don't know how complicated it is. My mum knew and she decided to divorce with my dad. I wanted them to divorce and now i'm struggling. I don't know how to handle my emotional, i kept crying and  i know it won't help anything. My brother and i forced to deal with this. H2h with my brother last night, i asked my brother if he will be sad if our parents divorced. He answer me 'Yes, of course i will be sad. Because i don't know who i want to follow. I want both of them.' So yah. My bro and i have prepared to accept the fact that they are going to divorce. Somehow, it still hurts me and my bro.

So who's at fault? Both of them. I don't understand why my grandma kept blaming my mum. Humans are selfish and sometimes they make selfish decisions. I understand my mum and i feel sorry to my dad. But this is life. Life sucks. And marriage sucks too. I just want to "keep the peace" in my family. Other than this, it's not my fucking problem. I don't know, I don't care. BUT, i still feel the pain and heartache. The scars will always remain there. Fucked up.

So many difficult things happened this two weeks and i tend to keep to myself. The problem with this is that i found myself feeling depressed and bitter these few days. Faking a smile to face everyone. And sleeping with tears in my eyes.

Feeling real bad. But i felt so much better when Lydia came to talk to me last night. Imma strong girl. 死不了就还好...

I'm back.

Hi guys, im back to blogging :D Haha! Lets start this post with a quote "When face with a challenge, look for a way, not a way out - David Weatherford " Im trying to encourage myself to face the challenges, trying to cheer myself up to handle all these shits. Nothing is perfect and everything hurts. Actually there's nothing happen, but im just mentally tired. I was working as a part time for the past two weeks. I swear, money is NOT EASY to earn. You gotta watch your money and not to use so much :p I mean ME ): but i have so many things to buy! Grr. So yah life is good but have a lot of thoughts lately. Sometimes i just cry for no reason. Life sucks at times.   Im just gonna be strong and deal with it.

Anyways, went to Maha Bodhi to watch their concert yesterday! Saw Mr Yap<3 He's so cute! I miss Mr Poh and Mr Yap, thought im not really close to them. So yes, like what i heard fro Mr Yeo, Maha Bodhi's band is great! And their concerts was awesome. I wish our band can be as cool as them.

And yes, my diet plan will start tmrw because someone keep complaining that im fat zz! Haaha but i really gained a lot of weight and yah i need to eat lesser and do more exercise from tdy onward! I will force my brother to play badminton and asked my kakak to jog with me! Hehe, gtg now, buhbyes:)