Finally :D

Wooohoo! Finally have a happy post, hmmm? :)
Friday was e-learning day, webcammed with Lydia, Richelle, Cheryl, Anna and Weilin! Quite fun uh :P Then went to Bugis after e-learning! Wanted to watch movie but did not. Then wanted to play arcade but cannot -.- then went to take neo print LOLOL :) quite no mood that day cause v sleepy, then like very pissed, urghhhh. After that went to J.CO, i slept there, hahaha! Around 6pm, went to shaw tower wait for my uncle. Then went to vivo for dinner:)

Aha! Saturday we headed to Batam :D:D I just came back from there! :) Nothing much, keep eating and eating and eating. So fat now :/ Quite boring cause didnt get to play flying fox! ): Bought a Burberry shirt! Woohooo :D:D anw, gonna see my babes tmrw ^^ And realized i so ugly in pict now, and ' not natural ' O_O!! So yea, nothing much. Nights! :)

情节有多坏, 都不肯醒来.....

Why?! Why!? Why!? I sucks yea? FUCK YOU TZEWEI CHAN. why cant u just accept the fact?! Why cant u just move on!? Why must u stay in the past?! It's over!! Everything is over. Why must u cry. He's not worth it. Halim's right. As what he said " there's a reason why they say memories. can nvr be deleted. its always there, and will be recalled when you see him. but its your choice to not think and just move on ” And u do not love him anymore!!! Control what u think can!? You bitch!! Move on man! How about zp!? You know u're gonna hurt him if u still like jr!? fuck u! You bitch, giving people false hope u think very fun is it!? fuck la FUCK YOU CHAN TZE WEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE U!!!!!

Ottoke!?

Shit, i'm getting nervous for the competition tmrw. I think we choose the wrong song, it's so diff for both of us to sing. Keep singing out of tune and forgetting lyrics. Esp me, i'm sorry uh Cheryl ): After the first rehearsal i cried, for forgetting the lyrics and sing out of tune. And my throat like going to sick !!!! !@#$%^&*()(*&^%#@! I sucks yea? Err, hope tmrw will be shun shun li li! PLEASE T^T

Anw, finally told him abt jr. I asked him not to get the hopes up too high, and he replied ' dont get the hopes up too high that i will give up on u coz i wont ' LOL i so emo these few days. Keep crying. Ottoke?! What should i do?! Everything just sucks. CA is coming v soon... i should prepare for it now.... :x Going batam this Sat!! Gonna forget everything and enjoy myself there! wooots :) Haha dk what to write.. so end here bah!

Short post, nights...

I wish i could forget.

Oh hey, today erhmm, quite not bad uh. Walked home with him just now, hmmm. We went to 7-11, and he saw his friends. His friends asked him sth like when are we gonna stead and he answered ' havent yet ' What's with the '' havent yet '' ????! Argh.. I was thinking of jr while we walking to my block. Fuck right? Do i really have feeling to him? Or i just want to use him to forget jr? I dont know........ fuck yeah. Am i giving false hope to him? What should i do? If i dont talk to him, i miss him uh? Fuck my feeling. Hais. Life sucks, everything just sucks. I'm a failure. A loser. A bitch. I'M A GIRL WHO IS FREAKIN' SELFISH -'-

I just feel like inside i've just lost who i am.

I wish i'd never grown up, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. I really thought i've alrd get over you . And u this bastard, till u came back to band that day, everything changed. I know that i still cant get over u. My heart skip so fast when i saw you. I act like nothing but my whole body was shaking. U told me that i can find a better guy, there is one, and i dont know how to let the guy in!! Everyone tells me to let go u, u think so easy? It has been one year plus.. Please, just fuck off from my life. Dont ever let me see u again.

I was trying to keep everything to myself, and it's like fuck. Say out is better to keep things to myself. Love sucks, boy sucks. I just feel like inside, i've just lost who i am. Tzewei? Tzewei? Tzewei? Who is Tzewei? The emo Tzewei? Or the cheerful Tzewei?

]

I dont know why recently i stalk u more than him? I think, i have a slight feeling to u? But i just cant get over him. I still miss him? Everything just remind me of him!! I want to try with u, but i scared i cant get over him. Somehow i still miss him, the bastard. I'm afraid u will like him, just come and go; giving me all those fucking empty promises. I dont fucking deserve this right? I deserve a guy who treat me better right? I listen to ' Just the way u are ' when i feel down, and i'll feel better? why? I still cant forget the pain that he gave me.. Love is pain, lies? U seemed to hope too much. Dont get ur hopes up too high please. It hurts. I just dont want to hurt u........... And stop sending me those fucking msgs to me! I hate it..... It hurts. I hurt u, i hurt myself as well.. Imma a bitch.. 不自爱的人根本不值得别人爱. This is what he said to me, i dont deserve you. Right? I'm a bitch. A fucking bitch.


可不可以有个人 可以看穿我的懦弱、我的坚強
可不可以有个人 可以安撫我所有伤口
可不可以有个人 能夠明白我的笑容 是真心还是勉強
可不可以有个人 能夠陪著我安心的睡去
可不可以有个人 就這样牵著我的手 说：我不会丟下你一个人的

Last emo post, k?

Please forgive me that i go back to a girl who always emo. Actually i dont fucking bother everything and anything anymore. But today maybe i sick so i not in mood and i cried. I realized my life like got so many problems. My parents separate when i was 7. Can you imagine a girl, a 7y/o kid. She need to face that her mother left her, her father passed her to her aunty. I was a very bad girl when i was 7, i steel money and whatsoever. I need to thank my aunty, she teach me a lot of things and tell me a lot of stories. She is the one who give me a lot a lot advises when i'm facing problem. I've uncountable probs..... I always quarreled with people.. yea... I did sth v wrong when i was p6, there's only my two bestf know it. And of course i wont say it here, it's like v fucking private and fucking wrong. After that.. a lot of thing changed. My mum bring me to Singapore study. When i came to Singapore, i swear i will be a good girl, study and study and study. But it came to a changed @May 2010. I met him, i fell in love with him, i stead-ed with him, then we broke up, and i like a bitch keep pestering him. Then i changed for WORSE... I KNOW I SHOULDT TALK ABOUT HIM ANYMORE AND NOW WHAT I NEED TO DO IS MOVE ON!! But you know, it just like so difficult. I'm trying, trust me, i can do it.......... Friendship problem, we like drifted a lot after the June holiday though nothing has happen. I wish we can go back to the times that we used to be. What's over is over.... i admit that i've changed. I've changed for better now. I admit that i got a bit anti-social now. Maybe you all cant see it, but I AM. Idk why, sometimes just dont feel like talking with anyone and i want to stay alone. Nobody is perfect, i dont ask too much from my friends. Seriously, after some matters, i starting wonder if there is a need for having so many BEST friends. But i just cant leave themmmm... I love them. But yeah, even a friend there has an ' end ' . Love i dont fucking bother anymore.. Family, it goes quite smoothly if i dont say out my father still love my mother and yet my mother dont love my father ANYMORE. This is like a secret that i only know!! Life is miserable..... People only see me like so childish, like a chao ah lian or whatever. I dont fucking care. I know i am who i am. I'm thinking what doing what, none of their business (: So just fuck off. Some of my problems cant use words to express out, only i know, that's enough. 我宁愿被你讨厌, 也不要你可怜我!! That's me, Tzewei. A girl that you forever wont know what she's thinking.

人生有太多的矛盾了, 有时候我自己说些什么我也不懂.. 我只是让你们看了我很感性的一面, 可是你们永远都不知道: 我理智起来, 比任何人更理智, 更成熟.......

Anyway, i'm a bitch whore if you dont know me well. If you know me well, I'M STILL A BITCH(: